Finding The Flow: My Journey to Cyclical Living

Cycle syncing and cycle awareness didn't come to me easily or naturally. Initially, my periods existed as a stand-alone phenomenon, not connected to anything in my life, even after 10 years of menstruating. It seemed women of previous generations - my mom and grandmas- had no language for it, and 100% of the men I met knew nothing about women's cyclicity.

Female cyclicity in a man-made world was long perceived as something inadequate that needed to be fixed, as the subject of sexist jokes, and not as something worth understanding. And so for me, a child of that man-made world, for a very long time, my own cyclicity did not exist.

The revelation that I flowed differently came with a deep burnout in my late twenties. It was unexpected as I did everything by the book. But it was a book of linear performance, written by linear men: motivational quotes, discipline advice, exercise routines. And year after year, suppressing my physical and social ciclicality and fighting it wore me out.

So I rebelled.

Slowly, I searched for another way of functioning and living that would feel right, and it led me to embracing women's cyclicity.

The transition from linear performance to cyclical wasn't easy, as internalized misogyny and sexist bias toward my own mood flow would make me doubt myself. It took almost three years to fully understand and accept my cyclicity and brush off learned bias.

Today, I mood flow on purpose. I carry my physical and emotional cyclicity with grace, kindness, and respect for my internal clock and calendar. I create space and time for a full range of emotions and feelings, and allow myslef act and react in a way each phase allows me to, without inner shame or judgment.

I unlearned to judge myself for "unsteady" rhythm. I found steadiness in a mood rhythm because I know that it is still me.

I learned to evaluate time carefully as a precious resource. Not a resource that is lacking, but one that changes:

• A time to reset.

• A time for new beginnings.

• A time to be out.

• A time for home and a friend.

• A time for only my soul and me.

Emotional cyclicity is a magical place where one can feel and do it all: joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, action and rest, conversation and silence. And a well-lived cycle is a place where resistance fades, and you become one with the flow.

You get used to cyclical living. And you get used to a partner who lives cyclically. Relationships become freer from fear, guilt, and shame.

No, cycle syncing did not come to me easily or naturally. But I am glad it finally did.

About the Author: Evgeniia Iakovleva

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